Never die, ever again
by TheMagnaka
Summary: They couldn't find him after the battle so they though him dead. Thilbo Bagginshield.
1. Chapter 1

They though that Bilbo was dead. They didn't found his body but they had all saw him there, time to time, middle of the battle, helping where he could, saving their lives. But after the battle, no one had seen him. No dwarf, no man, no elf, not even Gandalf, who looked more worried than ever. Not good sigh to see, it made everyone else worry too, more than usually.

They looked and looked.

Thorin asked after him but no one could say it, not aloud, that their hobbit was dead.

So they searched.

But then it came time that they have to get rid of the dead bodies what they couldn't burry. Although it was already wintertime the corpses couldn't last over whole winter, they have to burn them.

Bofur cried, kneeling on the ground, his head buried under his arms and no one else was much better.

They told Thorin then, who was slowly recovering and for some days they though that they would lose their king.

Kili howled out his cry holding his brother who was still unconscious.

No one had had the chance to apologize, to say how sorry they were, how much they wanted to thank him, ask him to stay. They had been fools, mad with gold.

Days and days later Thorin stood again, though still sick and weary, front of his throne, the Arkenstone buried deep in the caverns, not him to find it again.

Fili, finally awake, stood beside of him with his brother and front of them was the Company, or what was left of it. Bilbo was gone.

"Alongside the Gandalf I have send the letter to his kin to the Shire. I…" Thorin's voice almost broke and he cleared his throat. "I told them that I married him, that he was my husband, our Consort and though we did not find his body from the battle field…" Again there was a pause and for a moment Thorin closed his eyes, remembering the sigh of Bilbo, Sting shining its blue light, front of him, defending him, saving his life. He never got the chance to ask his hand, to court him, to say how much he actually loved him. There had been one night, only one glorious night after the dead of the Smaug what they shared, but after that everything was gone wrong. But no one would know the truth apart the Company, and they would not tell anyone. "We have buried him as a hero what he was. He will not be forgotten. Never."

And all this time they couldn't see him, standing near them, watching them, mourning and cursing the ring in his finger. It was stuck.

#

_AN/ Sorry any mistakes. I know I have already running some other stories but I just couldn't leave this out. And to those who knows, I'm going to update Touch next._


	2. Chapter 2

_an/ uhuh, I actually got done second chapter. Thanks everyone_

#

He wasn't dead.

He was fairly sure about that.

When he first woke up in the battlefield he had been bleeding. It wasn't anything serious and he had finally got himself up and walked through the dead and those who were looking anyone who was alive. Bilbo ignored them.

He walked straight to the tent field what was slowly rising to care the injured and keep all the soldiers keep going. Walking around he heard what had happened. That Thorin, is loved one, was dying along the princes.

His mind had been so foggy when he had reached Thorin's tent and walked right inside, not noticing that no one noticed him. But when he had tried to touch Thorin he had realized that something was wrong. He couldn't touch him. Five centimeter away something had stopped him, not allowing him to go too near Thorin.

After that he had tried. Oh how much he had tried to take off that blasted ring and somehow to inform his presence to his friends and companions. And to Thorin who had survived but was now fading front of his eyes, mourning his lost love.

But he was stuck. Not he was there, in the real world, or he was not even in the ring's world. He was drop somewhere middle of everything, between two realities.

He couldn't touch anyone. He couldn't touch anything. He didn't felt hungry. Others could sense his presence, some instinct making them back off, not to come near him, to step around him.

To the world he was ghost.

But he still bled, it still hurt when his fist met the hard rock wall, he couldn't walk through the doors and was sometimes locked inside the rooms where he couldn't get away because he couldn't touch the door's handle. He still had the headache after the blow and he have to sleep when he was tired.

It was all confusing and tiring.

To be place between light and nowhere.

.

Thorin looked around his room, hoping that Bilbo would be there with him, taking care of him after hard day on court. Who would make a great meal almost from thin air. Who knew stories and songs that eased the mind and make them all happy again.

But Bilbo was gone.

He would never again able to hear his soft whispers through the long nights, he would never be able to hold him close of him, skin against the skin, hearing his heartbeats. He had promised so much to his hobbit, his whole kingdom and more, his love. And he was never able to apologize.

It made his heart ache.

"You set my heart free Bilbo." He said and sat on his bed. "And what I did to you when you just tried to save me from myself. I tried to kill you." He laid his head on the cold bed, thinking what it would have be, Bilbo lying beside him, smiling bit sadly but lovingly at him.

"I cannot sleep when I just think about you." he murmured, watching how the light casted odd shadows around him, like someone was standing there, watching him.

"I'm scared that I would never see you again. Where have you gone? What is the place for hobbits to go? I never though that I would be the one to stay, to be left here to mourn after you."

He wanted to reach his hand, touch the empty space beside him, but like always, something stopped him.

"Mahal help me. Allow me to rest tonight."

He closed his eyes.

.

Beside him Bilbo was crying.


	3. Chapter 3

"Let this be my last confession." Bilbo murmured against his skin, murmuring like it was a big secret, not shared between anyone else, although everyone knew.

And no one dared to condemn him from that.

No one couldn't, not anymore.

"I love you."

He inhaled the smell of smoke and iron.

"With all of my heart."

He let his finger linger above the skin of his cheek and eyelids, still closed, still in deep sleep.

"I always though would I be strong enough to carry your heart and then you hurt me. I wasn't enough to you when there was a Mountain's Heart to touch and cherish."

He shook his head, leaned back and watched his loved one sleeping, not knowing.

"Your fingers around my neck. I can still feel them."

Unwillingly he shivered by the memory and he closed his eyes.

"You dragged me to the edge of that blasted wall and I still cannot go there. I still see nightmares of those moments. I dream that you dropped me. Isn't that proof enough. Death people cannot dream."

He sighed and turned away, sitting on edge of the bed, not looking Thorin. He couldn't.

"I couldn't believe it, not even after that. Gandalf said that I was in shock. I can't remember anything else but you, looking me with hatred."

A pause.

"I deserved it, didn't I?"

Again he turned to see the sleeping dwarf.

"Who is the betrayer Thorin? You or me? We both?"

He giggled nervously.

"You know. I have too much time to left to think about these things. It's not good for me. I cannot touch you. You can't hear me. It's driving me mad. Mad Baggins they would call me at home. The one who creeps in shadows and doesn't make a sound. Light in his foot. A burglar. "

He giggled again and stood up.

"I don't know meaning of this, the reason why I'm here."

He walked on the small narrow window what was more like a rail on the wall, but couldn't felt the coldness of winter. There was no hunger or cold or even warmness anymore. But he could see the light of morning sun and it made his skin yearn the air of summer and the feeling of grass under his fingers.

"I should be dead."

#

He felt wrong when he woke up. His hand reached the empty place beside him and he frowned. It was months now after Bilbo had died, but every morning he had felt it, though that he felt it, his presence.

It was nonsense.

He was just grieving after his love who he had betrayed so many ways.

But he couldn't but feel it, and right now, it felt wrong.

"Bilbo?"

The word echoed silently around the room and like always, there was no answer.

Through the day he felt it, the empty space beside of him, like he was missing something very important.

"Something wrong lad?" Balin asked and Thorin hesitated.

What could he say.

It was absurd.

Bilbo was dead.

He was just longing after him.

"Thorin?"

He snapped out of his though when Balin laid his hand on his shoulder.

"What is bothering you?"


	4. Chapter 4

Bofur knew it. He just knew it that something about Bilbo's death, about his disappearing was wrong.

It started out as a feeling. Feeling that someone was beside of him.

Bifur had shrugged and said something about ghosts of Erebor and loosing a dear friends and accept the lost.

"I know but." Bofur sighed.

He just knew.

And then someone pushed him safe when the assassin tried to kill him. The arrow hit near, but would pierced through his heart if not the hands on his back. But there was no one.

"It isn't a ghost." Bofur murmured, thinking and thinking when Nori was yelling at Dwalin, Thorin just looked tired, Ori tried to calm his brother and the princes sat at the corner whispering themselves and Oin was checking him all over. Bofur felt Oin's hand over his shoulder blade and shivered.

"Does it hurt? It's just a bruise. Odd."

"What?"

"it's in the shape of a handprint. Someone pushed you?"

Bofur blinked.

"Yeah. Saved me."

"Who?" Nori was suddenly beside him. "I found you alone."

"Bilbo. It was Bilbo." Bofur replied quietly. Heavy silence fell upon the company of King. Thorin stood up.

"Are you sure?" he was eager to know and there was a light what had been missing after Bilbo's death.

"Don't get your hope up." Balin murmured when Thorin walked over Bofur. His hand was warm on Bofur's skin.

"You have felt it, don't you?" Bofur looked up at his king. "Felt _him_."

Thorin smiled, his eyes focused on the handprint, his finger trailing over it. "I can sense him. Sometimes. And I can forever know his hand, though a black mark at the skin."

"I have too." Kili said and they looked the young prince. "When I'm all alone, sometimes I can feel him beside of him, his hand over my shoulder like before. I though, I though I was just dreaming, my mind tricking me…" Kili sniffed. "Something is wrong."

"I sent a word for Tharkun. He will come." Thorin said, but then he frowned. "But I haven't sensed him days. I though, I though he was gone. And what could be the reason for him being invisible. Not being with us. Surely he now knows that I have forgiven him, that I would have asked forgiveness. Why to stay hiden…?" Thorin stopped his pacing suddenly, and there was horror in his eyes.

"That ring." Fili gasped realizing.

"Can it be? Can it be that ring?" Dwalin asked holding Ori who looked shocked.

"I have searched knowledge about that ring. But nothing had come though the library is big so I can't be sure…"

"Go and continue your search." Thorin ordered.

"I come with you." Balin said to Ori. "I think I have some idea where to look if you already haven't."

"But if Bilbo is alive. And he saved Bofur. If he's moving freely around Erebor, knowing that someone is after the Company, what would he do?" Bombur suddenly asked.

"He would go after them." Thorin grimaced.


	5. Chapter 5

He hated it, oh how much he hated it, not able to do anything!

Someone was trying to kill the members of Thorin's Company. It was already third yritys. It was because they couldn't go against the King himself, or the princes, so they hit close.

They had tried to kill Ori only two days earlier, same day when he had though to leave. Then Balin. And now Bofur!

He had seen it coming and had pushed Bofur.

He had pushed him!

Bilbo stopped and looked his hand with wonder. He tried to move the ring again. Not vail. He cursed and continued his walk seeking any information what he could. Through the winter he had come very familiar with every corridor of High Erebor, as they called the upper levels. He still avoided to going to the Lower Side, where the smiths and mines were. Also, he had been tracking around with Nori who knew and found every day new short cuts and hidden doors.

The hobbit hummed, dwarves, they loved their secrets almost too much.

Three days he tracked, not knowing that other were looking any signs of him being there, his mind focusing only to find the perpetrators. Sometimes he though passed Nori who was also trying to find them.

Bilbo used his ears to listen. He walked unseen through the marketplaces, taverns and teahouses and cafetaries. He listened the guards and the worker of the kitchens. The laundresses were the most rumormongers from them all, all servants were and Bilbo spent most of his time listening them.

And one name finally ringed the bells.

_Lord Aziam._

_He's not happy._

_He hates them all._

_Yesterday he looked so angry._

_He had come paranoid. _

_Said that it was pity that the assassin didn't succeed. _

_I think he blames the King for his son's death._

It was time to study bit closer.

#

"Lord Aziam." Nori said frowning and Thorin just nodded. "It sounds.. believable. He has always hated me, us, the whole Durin line after we lost Erebor to Smaug. After his son's death."

"I remember him. Clever lad that one." Balin muttered. Thorin turned to look his oldest advisor.

"Anything about the ring?"

"No. Only ring, or rings, are about the Rings of Power. And I'm pretty sure that it isn't any of those." Balin answered. "But I got word from Tharkun. He's coming soon. He's been on his way here some time now."

Thorin frowned. "Really?"

Balin shrugged. "So it seems."

"Well then, maybe we should find Lord Aziam and ask some questions." Thorin faced his spymaster again pushing away any though about Bilbo, it wasn't time for that. Nori's grin was devilish. "With a pleasure."

#

They were there too. Thorin with Balin, Nori and Dwalin. Bilbo grinned. Trust Nori to find out the truth.

"I have nothing to say to you my King. Those are just rumors." Lord Aziam's eyes were looking Nori when he spoke. "I do not know how you trust a thief over your own kin and council member."

"Nori is my spymaster and closer than some of my kin. I can trust my life to him. But about you I'm not so sure." Thorin's voice was full of anger and irritation.

"Rumors I say." Lord Aziam turned and took hold of the carafe on the table pouring class of wine and offered it to Thorin, but Dwalin stepped forward. "No."

It happened fast.

Aziam threw the class forcefully towards Dwalin's face and it hit breaking into shards. Dwalin wailed and stepped back right to Thorin's lap.

"Dwalin!" All Thorin's attention focused to his friend when Aziam turned and rushed to the bedroom locking the door. Nori cursed profusely.

"There must be hidden door. These chambers…"

Bilbo was in move before Nori, and in his rage he didn't realize that he swung the door to the hallway open himself. Balin paled. He had noticed the door open itself.

"Bilbo?"

Thorin looked terrified when he turned to see.

"No. Nori!"

Nori was already gone after their friend.

#

Bilbo was good to create maps what meant that he had good sense of directions and talent to calculate distance. It didn't take long him to guess where Lord Aziam's hidden door lead.

"BILBO! Stop. Let me take care of him!"

It was Nori, put he was going wrong way. Bilbo hesitated. He wasn't sure would Nori notice any of his marks if he turned and tried to tell somehow at the spymaster where the traitor was going. So he didn't turn but left after Lord Aziam.

He was right of course when he finally saw Aziam to appear to the hallway front of him some meters away from small alcove.

"Stop!"

Aziam didn't hear Bilbo and the hobbit let out frustrated yell and followed. He had to work out something and soon. He tried to take hold of the Aziam but again couldn't, so he ended to just to follow him down the stairs and hallways deeper and deeper to the Lover Side.

#

When Thorin finally reached Nori the former thief was speaking to the group of dwarves.

"Go!" in his command the group slipped away and Nori turned to face his King. "Dwalin?"

"Balin is taking care of him. I think some of the class went in his eye. I informed the guards to not let anyone to pass the gates until Aziam is captured." Thorin's face was grim. "Were those yours?"

"They will find him. And whom ever he hired."

"Good."

It took only hour when one of Nori's men was back.

"He's heading toward Deep Hills."

Thorin twitched and he felt fear rising. Deep Hills were mines abandoned long time ago because the surrounding was unstable to anyone to work. Perfect place to someone who was too suicidal or stupid to realize how dangerous that place was. And Bilbo was no doubt going there. He started to run when Nori sparked his command.

#

Bilbo didn't like it here. It felt bad, very very bad indeed. There was only Aziam's torch, though the world where Bilbo was stuck the light was minor problem. There was always that grey light presence, day and night. They walked beside the edge of deep cavity and he couldn't separate what was deep below.

"You're late." New voice said and Aziam stopped.

"The king found out about me."

The shadow moved and very thin dwarf stepped forward and light up his own torch. "So, you should pay now and scram, my lord."

"Can you lead me away? Smuggle me through the gates or something?"

The unknown dwarf though a moment and nodded. "I can, put it pays. Lot more."

Aziam clench his fist and nodded. "Of course. What ever you want."

The assassin, or so Bilbo though by now, grinned and offered his hand. "That jewel looks nice."

Lord Aziam looked down the pendant on his chest. "It's family…"

"Do you think that you need it anymore, family or no? You hired me to kill the Company…"

"You never succeed! They are still alive."

"You paid well, so I will do as you want. But first, do you want to reach safety or not?" the assassin flexed his fingers. "The jewel. Please."

Cursing Aziam gave it.

"Thank you. Now, we have to go pit more back and took another route. Follow me."

Bilbo felt himself lost. What he could do? He had to try to slow them down, but how?

But before he could think anything familiar voice came front and stopped them.

"Lord Aziam. I think our discussion was not completed."

"Thorin." Aziam stopped when around the corner stepped front of him his King. Bilbo sighed in relief. They found them. Aziam turned without word and tried to run but something flashed through the air and wrapped around his legs and he fell. Nori was standing beside Thorin but now focused to the assassin.

"Luce."

"Nori. Should have guessed. Nothing goes past you." the assassin sighed.

"Oh, there goes lot, but I'm improving. Being spymaster is bit of new area, but I think I did a good now." Nori laughed bitterly.

"You did my friend." Thorin assured. It was that moment when Luce acted, his hand moving faster than Bilbo saw. Nori let out pained groan and doubled over. Luce didn't wait that to happen but after he had thrown the small dagger he had took his long knife and surged toward the king.

Bilbo didn't think.

"No! Thorin!" Bilbo screamed and rushed after, his hand reaching forward and he got tight hold of the assassin's wrist. He pulled using his speed, pushing them away from the King.

They were too near the edge to do something like that but Bilbo didn't care. All what he though was to keep Thorin safe. He let the arm go when felt that there was no foothold under his foot anymore. The assassin scream echoed through the cave when he fell. Bilbo twisted his body same time when the world around him came again shaper and full of colors. For a brief moment his eyes met Thorin's.

Thorin was already reaching him but Bilbo knew it was too late so he closed his eyes, memorizing Thorin's face as his last, dipped his chin back when he fell alongside the assassin.

"BILBO!"

#

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.

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_Author is running away…_


	6. Chapter 6

_Author is sneaking back…_

_Well, just if you want to know, I couldn't decide what path to take in this because I don't actually have any plot, not until now. I now know how this ends, after this on chapter to go. I hope I can finish this before New Year, but I can't be sure. But this is my priority right now._

_#_

It was near thing but Dwalin was fast to stop Thorin going after the hobbit.

"Bilbo! BILBO!" the cry echoed around the deep caves.

"He's gone." Dwalin whispered, looking the deeps over Thorin's shoulder holding his friend in tight embrace.

"He was alive, all this time, he was alive." Thorin howled trying desperately follow his love but Dwalin didn't let him go to his death.

"Yes he was." Briefly Dwalin let the sorrow show out and Thorin screamed in pure agony.

"Bilbo." Thorin finally stopped to struggle and started to sob, but Dwalin knew better than let his hold of him.

"I'm sorry my friend." He looked back where Nori was handling the rest of the situation and nodded at him. "We come when he's ready."

Nori sighed and Dwalin was sure that first time in his life he saw some tears in thief's eyes. They were left in the darkness with the lonely torch and Thorin cried again his lost love.

#

For three days Thorin let it all go. It was cold and dark and he thought that he was going insane.

He felt that he was alone, and the first day he just screamed Bilbo's name, trying to fight his way back at the Deep Hills.

But always someone stopped him.

At the second day he stopped moving. He was lost. Too lost to turn back. He had tried first time when they though that Bilbo was dead.

Now he knew.

Bilbo was gone forever.

So he blocked all the sounds around him and retreated to his dark mind to cherish his golden memories of the man he loved.

But it was those memories that dragged him back like before. Bilbo's smile. Bilbo's faith in him. Bilbo's love.

Again he faced the world though it was hard to focus.

"It feels like every route I take leads to you." He muttered to the cold and empty room.

It took three days before Thorin was up again, but he was clearly hollow of his former self. He sat at the throne, feeling emptier than ever.

There had been some sort of hope before. Now it was gone. He only had to accept that this time Bilbo would be just a ghost of his memories.

Everyone left him be, though they keep eye on him. Someone was always there, some of the Company. Some of the family.

At the fourth morning Thorin looked up when Fili slammed the doors open to the Great Hall.

"It's Gandalf!".

"That wizard is late as usual." He growled, anger lingering in his eyes. "He's not welcome here! I don't want to see him!"

But Fili looked determined. "Come and see uncle. The message the scout gave me… Well, let see him."

Thorin stared at his nephew but finally gave up and followed him at the Gates. They were in time to see how Gandalf rode up the road at the Gate with hurry holding something front of him.

"I think that I found something what belongs to you, Thorin Oakenshied. And this time I will make sure that you do better job to keep him safe." Gandalf yelled even before he stopped.

And when Kili and Gloin whom were hurried to meet the wizard lowered the big bundle front of the saddle Thorin couldn't breathe.

"By Mahal, you're alive. You're alive." Kili hugged the thin man who was wrapped inside Gandalf's grey cape. Thorin could see the copper-gold curls and the bloody fingers what took hold of Kili's tunic.

"OIN!" Gloin yelled at his brother who was already running toward them.

Thorin couldn't move. Someone was holding him up.

Kili kneeled suddenly and helped their friend on the ground.

"He's badly hurt. I did what I could, but I think he will live." Gandalf said looking over when Oin finally reached them.

"Bilbo." Thorin whispered.

And truly, it was their burglar.


	7. Chapter 7

_Someone wanted Bilbo's POV? _

_I think I still do one or two more chapters though all of them are short. _

#

He lost his consciousness when he hit hard on the ground, or what he though was a hard rock floor far below from the cliff. He welcomed the darkness and how it trapped him inside like tight hug and cold cape.

He lost himself in the nothingness, feeling numb. He was stuck, and suddenly very alone.

So hollow.

_No._

_No!_

_NO!_

_Thorin!_

No, he wanted back. Back with Thorin.

He fought back. He wanted back where he belonged.

By Valar it was cold. He couldn't breathe. Something poked him all over his fragile body. It was pain what got him back.

Water, all over. It was water what surrounded him, made him move forward, pushed from rock to rock and it was worse than even in Mirkwood. Suddenly his head popped out and he took the precious breath in the darkness before the flow took him back and he was under the surface again.

He couldn't think anything. When he could, he breathed, but he knew that he couldn't do much longer. His hands tried to find something to keep hold, to stop him even for just a moment, but the fingers couldn't hold long enough. Only his despair kept him alive.

But finally he lost his consciousness again.

"Bilbo? Bilbo? Wake up. Please wake up. You silly silly boy, how you can be here?"

The voice was familiar but he couldn't locate it. He felt so numb, so tired all over. Something soft was wrapped around him, warm hand touched his face.

"No, it doesn't matter now. You're freezing. You didn't breathe when I saw you. You scared me boy. I got you. And I do not let you go. We head back to Erebor. We though you dead. Oh Bilbo. I'm sorry. So sorry." the old voice babbled, Valars that voice was so old.

He was moved around. More warmness. He was lifted and it felt odd, someone was carrying him around. When he tried to move, to open his eyes, anything, he couldn't.

"Calm, calm Bilbo. Don't. You hurt yourself."

Has he moved then?

"You're awake. Good. Can you open your eyes?"

No, no he couldn't.

"Though so. You're hurt badly my boy. Truly."

The hand was on his forehead.

"Rest my boy. I'm sorry."

Nothing.

.

The sky was so blue. He felt himself moving. It was odd jumpy movements. He stared the sky. The air felt cold on his face. Wind. Winter. Hands around him. Something warm wrapped around him.

Blue sky.

Thorin.

He smiled.

.

"You're alive!"

Did he knew this man who hugged him so fiercely. He took hold of him when his knees didn't carried him. Slowly, very carefully he was lowered on the ground.

"OIN!"

There were so much more of them. Voices. Yelling. A scream. Whispering. He was moving again. Carried again. More warmness. Someone muttering when he was placed on the soft floor. A bed. It has to be. He couldn't focus. Everything was just spinning around and around.

"Let me do my job. Out! OUT! All of you! Not you fool. Help me. Take this. OUT! This is healing hall. Thorin, out. Now. Dwalin!"

Thorin.

He opened his mouth to speak but there was no voice, no sound.

"Easy. Look at me. Good lad. We have to get you out of these. Gandalf did good job."

Hands all over his body. Pulling and jostling him.

Pain.

"Carefully. Get me the pain medicine. Now. Easy Bilbo."

He was crying, but he was still so numb.

"Oh, this is not so good. I'm sorry lad. Thed, we need more help. Bilbo, drink this. You need to swallow this. Good, good."

The hand pushed his forehead again. Gently, petting him.

"When you wake up, it is all better. I promise. Just sleep now."

His eyes focused a bit. He knew this dwarf.

"O-o-_i_-n."

The older dwarf smiled. "Trust me."

"T-o-_i_-n."

"He'll be here when you wake up again. Sleep."

So he slept.


	8. Chapter 8

_Oh, I hate it when I promised to put away my computer during the Christmas, but, well, I have lot to weave. Never said what is my profession? I'm a weaver. It's my second hobby and currently also my second paid work now that I have finally done my school and graduated and put up an own trade name. So, new life and new year to come…_

_But, indeed, I promised to end this story hopefully before Christmas, so here we go. One last time (no, I haven't seen the movie yet, I'm stalling, because when I see it, it's finally over and I already know how it ends *crying*)._

#

"It was the mithril shirt what you gave to him, what indeed saved him." Oin grunted and patted Thorin's shoulder.

Thorin was holding Bilbo's hand, still bit confused and unbelieving that Bilbo, his love, his husband, was there, alive, oh so much alive.

Sleeping, but alive. Thorin listened how Oin spoke with his brother.

"Several broken bones, and fractures. High fever and he seems to be gaining pneumonia. Not good at him, I remember what he was back at Lake Town when he got ill. And again, or maybe I should say he _still_ is in a very weak condition. Too light, too thin, too pale to my liking. There's some old wounds, badly healed, maybe after the battle. The wound in his leg is infected, not badly, but together with everything else it's too early to say."

Too early to say would Bilbo still live.

"You're a miracle." Thorin whispered leaning forward, pushing his lips against Bilbos ear. "Twice you have come back for me. And I know that I'm going to be rudely selfish to ask that you survive this time again. For me."

His fingers followed the line of Bilbo's face, studying and memorizing every little bit of his One. He hadn't done it before, thinking that there would be more time. How much he had regretted it later days.

"Let me see your eyes."

He let his hand rest over Bilbo's chest, over the still beating heart.

"You stole my heart burglar, I want it back."

He leaned his head against Bilbo's good shoulder.

"I want you back."

He closed his eyes.

"I love you Bilbo."

He never saw how brokenly everyone else who were there looked at their King.

#

Bilbo's fever went high and Thorin never left his side.

"Fight. Fight like always. Be stubborn as I know you are." Thorin muttered, holding Bilbos hand, pressing his chin against it, watching how Bilbo fought. The skin of the hobbit's was burning and they tried everything to cool him down.

It came to that, that they just waited one long night to know what would be the fate of their friend.

Thorin asked them all to leave, wanting to be some time alone with Bilbo, listening his quiet feverish muttering. When Bilbo finally quieted down Thorin spoke.

"It seems that our time is slipping away. Now every minute will counts."

He kneeled beside the bed, setting Bilbo's palm over his cheek.

"I'll never get back the words what I spoke that day on the wall, but I believe you know that I'm regretting everything. Forgive me. I was sick, and I was afraid. Afraid of you. You, holding my heart. And after I forced you to leave I have felt alone everyday. But I felt you presence. Somehow I suddenly knew that you were there with me. I thought I was insane with grief. And you were there. Always. And again, I lost you. I cannot say how much it broke me. I think I will never get back what I lost, and I have lost very much. But I want to believe that you will heal me if you just live now, because, if you don't, I will fade, I cannot fight back anymore. I know now how much you mean to me. Losing you twice is too much, losing you again, I cannot even think about it."

He cried, holding Bilbo's hand, pressing himself against it desperately.

"Please, please Bilbo. Never die again."

His voice broke and he sobbed, burying his face on Bilbo's side.

It took some time before he realized that someone was stroking his hair very gently. Thorin's eyes shot up and he met Bilbo's green glassy eyes and broken smile.

"Ever again." Bilbo promised.


	9. Chapter 9

_Over hundred followers, I'm honored, truly. _

_Thank you everyone and special thanks to them who reviewed. I'm lazy to answer to your reviews but I take them all to my heart. Good and bad. _

"

Bilbo's fingers followed the fine line of the Ring and he watched how it shined on the sunlight.

He had gone back at the river, what flowed under the mountain and where Gandalf had found him.

No, he hadn't looked at it, never, he had though that it was good that it was gone, so much of grief it had caused at him and to those near of him. To his family.

But fate had thought otherwise and somehow he had found the Ring.

"Is everything alright?!" Thorin called from distant and fast Bilbo put the Ring in his pocket.

"Yes!" He started to walk toward his friends who were waiting at him. When he reached his husband, he smiled at him.

"Do you think Gandalf will be at Gondor?"

Thorin blinked.

"Yes. I think so. The meeting is rather important."

Bilbo nodded and took the reins of his pony. "Good. When we are leaving?"

Thorin stared at him.

"We?"

Bilbo huffed. "Yes. We. When?"

"Three days. But you're not…"

"I'm coming. I need to speak with Gandalf."

Now Thorin frowned.

"Something is going on inside your little head. What?"

Bilbo grinned pushing up all his innocence when he faced his overprotective King. "There is always something going on. Come now. I'm pretty sure that Kili said he wanted to start lunch early now that we are outside. I baked some good tarts and I'm afraid you do not get anything if we do not go now."

Thorin hesitated but relented then. "Alright, keep your stubborn head, but when you have spoken with that old wizard you will tell me what is going on." Not waiting Bilbo's answer he urged his pony forward.

Bilbo watched him go thinking would he never keep his promise. To never left Thorin's side again without him. His hand rested momently at his pocket before he followed Thorin back to the Mountain.

No, he wasn't sure at anything anymore.

.

.

.

_Well, I just couldn't let the Ring go._

_._

_**Happy Christmas everyone!**_


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